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"...if I drive too fast again, I'll lose my license!"

- Jack

Hey, Taxi! To the Hospital, and Hurry!! is the third mission of Elite Beat Agents and is one of three missions in the game's second act, not counting an unlockable bonus mission.

Story[]

Maverick cabbie Jack calls the Agents for help after he is forced to drive dangerously to get a pregnant woman named Linda to the hospital and risk getting his taxi license revoked permanently. The mission, set to the tune of "Sk8er Boi", plays out across four phases.

Phase one[]

The Agents drive over to Jack's position and he begins his fateful drive to the hospital. He must first elude Officer Pancho, a policer officer who recently pulled him over for speeding and warned of a permanent revocation of his license if he did not desist. If the Elite-O-Meter increases, the taxi gains a powerful speed boost. If it goes down, the taxi breaks down and Pancho stays close to the taxi. At the end of the phase, the taxi has to jump over a lake. If the Elite-O-Meter was over half full, the taxi is able to make it over without losing much speed. If not, the taxi plunges into the water.

Phase two[]

Having temporarily lost Pancho, Jack uses the subway as another dangerous shortcut. If the Elite-O-Meter increases, the taxi gains a powerful speed boost through the subway tunnels, bewildering train drivers. If it goes down, the taxi is slowed down by commuters, including Amanda Straw, who moved to the city to pursue her dreams. At the end of the phase, the taxi leaps back out onto street level and will do so smoothly if the Elite-O-Meter was over 50%. Otherwise, the taxi slams onto the pavement hoodfirst.

Phase three[]

Pancho manages to track down and find Jack again. If the Elite-O-Meter increases, the taxi gains a powerful speed boost. If it goes down, Pancho and the cops close in on the taxi as it is forced to slide along a concrete guardrail to evade traffic. At the end of the phase, Pancho is informed by a fellow officer that Jack is trying to help Linda and he then orders officers to clear a path. They are able to do so if the Elite-O-Meter is over half full, and are unable to otherwise.

Final phase[]

The final major obstacle to the hospital is a tall building Jack has to drive up and over, defying the law of physics. If the Elite-O-Meter increases, the taxi effortlessly drives up the building. If it goes down, the taxi falls off the building.

Endings[]

  • Best Ending: If the player passed all of the first three phases, Jack manages to bring Linda to the hospital. He is then mortified to realize that the cops are still hunting him down. He looks for a new customer and finds one wanting a ride to a subway station. The taxi then rockets away from authorities.
  • Normal Ending: If the player passed at least one phase and failed at least one phase before the final one, Jack manages to bring Linda to the hospital. He is then mortified to realize that the cops are still hunting him down. He looks for a new customer and finds one wanting a ride to a subway station. The taxi then drives away from authorities.
  • Poor Ending: If the player failed all of the first three phases, Jack manages to bring Linda to the hospital. He is then mortified to realize that the cops are still hunting him down, but his taxi is badly damaged. Jack flees futilely on foot.
  • Mission Failure: If the player's Elite-O-Meter reached zero before the mission was completed, the police corner Jack's taxi and Poncho personally arrests him and permanently revokes his license. Then they take Linda to the hospital themselves while Jack is taken to prison, out of a job.

Trivia[]

  • The scene is based on the first few minutes of The Tuxedo, starring Jackie Chan as meek cabbie James "Jimmy" Tong.
  • Bill Mitchel and his coach, the main subjects of "NURSE!! Gold Medal Hero or Zero!!", appear in the ending if the player completed the mission.
  • The mission's premise of dangerous taxi driving is reminiscent of SEGA's Crazy Taxi video game series.
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